| The following Crimbo, number fourteen, revealed that the elves had returned to their roots -- in a fairly literal sense, because they were living in the woods, having gone full hippy. Nobody had seen Uncle Crimbo in a full year, because he'd locked himself in his trailer with a note on the door saying "Meditating -- do not disturb!" and without his direction, his employees had split into two camps: one camp of free-spirited nature-worshipping elves (led by an elf who had rejected the idea of personal names, and was therefore named Tammy by the adventurers because she had a tambourine), and one camp of reindeer, elves, and other miscellaneous joiners who had set out to built the perfect communist utopia under the leadership of the reindeer Rudolph, né Rudolphus of Crimborg, né Rudolph the Red. So how could that possibly go wrong? Answer: it went wrong in two different ways. Firstly, Tammy and her nature-loving crew evolved into an extremely creepy cult that (probably accidentally) summoned into the mortal realm an incomprehensible alien nature god called Gaia'ajh-dsli Ak'lwej, which probably would have destroyed everything if not for the second way everything went wrong: Rudolph, apparently having remembered how to build complex microcircuitry from scratch from his days with the Crimborg, built a series of radio-controlled brain implants for his underlings, and set up his own personal Crimborg franchise, which eventually turned into Voltron x1000. Fortunately for everyone, Rudolph's Collective was able to hold Gaia'ajh-dsli Ak'lwej at bay for just long enough to create the necessary dramatic moment for Uncle Crimbo to suddenly appear from his trailer, having finished his year-long meditation and becoming the Crimbodhisattva aka the Crimbuddha -- the ultimate power of Crimbo made manifest. He literally deus ex machinaed everything back to normal, and that was the end of that. Or was it...???
Part I : The Story Thus Far
Part II : The Elfretariat
Part III : The Halloween Incident
Part IV : Crimboween
Part V : Where in Time is Uncle Crimbo?
Part VI : Once You Go Blackstory, You Never Go Backstory
Part VII : A Polyhedral Harbinger
Part VIII : Rise of the Crimborg
Part VIIII : A Black and White Crimbo
Part X : One More Indecent Accident
Part XI : Of CRIMBCO and Hobos
Part XII : I Want Candy
Part XIII : Dreaming of a KAWAIIII Crimbo
Part XIV : Cyborg Bears? Sure Why Not
Part XV : Factory Complexities
Part XVI : A Tale of Two Things That Happened documentation home |